Diary of a Single Father - Day 1

Dear Diary,
Oh what unforeseen but joyous change of fortune has befallen me!? My fearful blathering of yestereve has proven to be fully without merit! Not only were my offspring amicable, but the oldest was voluntarily helpful at times. 'Twasn't all peach cobbler though. When I arrived to receive my children back from their day-sitter, my son had a most cantankerous attitude! Thankfully, this illogical display of negativity was short-lived. After arriving home we had but mere minutes to ingest some semblance of a meal before my dear daughter was in need of being rushed to her dancing lessons. Back at home, the small one went to bed with blown kisses and promises to dream of his father. My stomach was then reminding me that the food I ate prior to the dance lesson could hardly be called a meal. I informed my oldest that I hungered for more nourishment and she responded likewise. She started with cookies, finished with cheese and crackers, and found the time in between to scold me for perching on the table. Just like her sibling, she went to bed without a hitch and left me to my own devices. Despite the surprisingly pleasant evening, my inner paranoia-laden self is screaming, "The little ones are preparing something hideous for you! Give them no quarter and show them no mercy!" I shall now retire for the night to my own bed, as cold and empty as it is.